Things that you want to do and not what people want you to do. Ofcourse, they have to be things that make you happy and are not self destructive.
But almost every person around the globe faces challanges doing the things we love. Whether it’s a hobby or simply obeying to one’s religion and beliefs.
And why is that?
It’s because of our deteriorated self confidence. We let ourselves become victims of inferiority complex on the tiniest things and mistakes.
Society will always pressure you into being this or that. We are brainwashed daily into believing it. Each one has his or her opinion. That’s okay. Deep down in your heart, you know who you are. Don’t let people pressure you into becoming something you are not.
-Mufti Ismail Menk
So go out there and rock yourselves out. You don’t have to be an eyecandy for others. You don’t have to be that ‘stereotyped examplery child’ for the society. You can only become examplery when you embrace yourself and work hard to making yourself a positive individual. You will find your amazing innerself. Afterall, every cloud has a silver linning.
To have time on our side means that we control our time and set a lifestyle we’re in control of instead of being controlled by the times that we live in. Including certain lifestyle choices made according to societal norms.
Ofcourse not all of these trends and ideas are bad but some just simply won’t suit our personalities and pace of life. So we need to make some vital changes for “time to be on our side.”
I read somewhere on the Internet that a five year old asked her mom to take her for lunch. But the mother told her that it’s not the time for lunch and that she had to wait a long time for it. To which the toddler responded saying that the mom could simply change the time on the kitchen clock to make it possible to have lunch at that moment.
Sometimes kids bring our attention to things we take for granted and here it’s about the time we have on our hands and how we utilise it.
In my opinion, I think that it’s very healthy to have a daily routine set for us to spend our time productively. But there are times where our daily routines might slow down or interfere with certain aspects or important events in our lives.
For example, you’ve been wanting to go hiking for a long time but you suddenly have to finish a project at work first. But according to our daily routine it slows down the pace of finishing the project and takes longer to go for that hike. By the time we’re done with the project we might lose interest in going for the hike or some other event might coincide with it, preventing us from going on the hike.
So my point here is that instead of following our daily routine and having allocated time of our work, we should just readjust the timing of our work and have a very flexible daily routine and finish the project sooner, so we can do the desired things at the right time.
All of this in general fall into the category of time management. So we must know how to manage our time and keep it updated with the stages of our life that constantly changes.
Crisis is defined as intense difficulty or danger. But it also means that its a turning point when an important change takes place.
It’s these changes that we make during a crisis that leads us towards a path. Depending on our mindset we would most probably make up a coping mechanism during a crisis is what determines the type of results we’ll get.
Even if things are hard and harbouring a positive attitude maybe even harder, we must resist giving up. This is because the results always depend on our choices. We can either turn the crisis into a blessing or a catastrophe.
Crisis can hit a person in any shape. Wether it’s existential or financial. Therefore, we must not compare our situation to others. It can lead to misunderstandings and makes people feel less cared for and worthless.
Here are five ways you can use to go through a crisis with a strong mindset and overcome it gracefully.
Sometimes we can’t make an immediate change or figure out a way out of a crisis. So we must practise patience to last us till we come across a solution. Do not feel hopeless and always be kind to yourselves during such trying times.
2. Name it and use it to your advantage.
Most often when we are hit with a crisis, we try to solve it immediately and then suffer from a burnout. We stress when we don’t see an immediate change. So first and foremost we should try to recognise our crisis and find its root cause. What started it and how you can use it to your advantage. How a certain situation can benefit you. Even if it’s a small advantage take the opportunity and cease it.
3. Take a break.
Go for a vacation or just spend some time alone doing things you like. Catch up on some much needed sleep. It can help reduce stress and you can jump into action quickly. Let your mind and body calm down before trying to fix things. Eat healthy and drink lots of water. Detox your digestive system and exercise regularly. Engage in activities that helps burn excess fats. Try out new dressup styles and feel good about yourself.
4. Take your time.
Never ever compare your pace of recovery to others or societal norms. Every person goes through different things at different times under different circumstances. We mustn’t burden ourselves such negative thoughts or expect to recover by the allocated time. Things can take time and so we should cooperate with it and be leniant with ourselves.
5. Key to recovery lies in your hands.
Surround yourself by positive people that serve your purpose and will not have negative impact on your mental health. Form attachment with God and trust only people that are good and trustworthy. Believe in the fact that there’s always a rainbow after a storm. Be eager to witness that rainbow and forget about giving up.
It’s quite obvious that making the right choices will affect our lives in a positive way with a promising future to look forward to.
So here are a few ways we can use to manifest the desired skill that influence our choices.
1. Be your own sort of support.
Cheer yourself on wether others around you do so or not. Have your back and rely only on yourself and a few trusted people and God. Stay consistent with your efforts and do not lose hope if you ever screw up. Don’t let the motivation decrease.
2. Be consistent.
To be consistent is to have a constant source of motivation wether it’s from religion, family and friends or books. To have a supporting and loving mindset is a blessing. So save it and improve it. Do not be scared of your flaws and lows. Take things easy and take your time. In general, avoid destructive criticism and accept positive feedback. Do not take things personally and look at things with a positive perspective. Keep the positive result in your mind to push you through hard times.
3. Simplify your choices.
Remember, the decisions that we make, makes us and our future. So it’s for the best that we break down our goals and dreams into simpler parts and take action accordingly. Let’s not confuse our brains with too many choices. It can cause us to be poor in decision-making. So let’s avoid that.
Setting a healthy routine can be a challenge because habits are what makes up a routine. Wether they are good or bad and that is what determines the type of our routine. So to have a better routine, we have to change some of our poor habits, which infact can be quite challenging.
BUT! Do not get discouraged because I am going to share 3 simple and effective ways to help you make a better routine.
1. Identify and acknowledge your poor habits.
It’s important to find out the root causes for our bad behaviours in order to get rid of them. Sometimes there can be certain events, typically bad ones that influence bad behaviour in people. We choose to behave in such ways to fight off the sufferings. We choose them as “coping mechanisms”. That is why we need to recognise and accept our feelings and not fear vulnerability. We should look for healing without shame and fear and manifest healthy ways as coping mechanisms.
The choice is up to you. Beliefs and morals that you agree with will influence the kind of “right choices” you make. It’s okay if we make mistakes. Its only natural for humans to make mistakes because we aren’t perfect. But to recognise them and look for positive alternatives to manifest the right choices that lead to the development of a healthier routine.
Practise and patience are two key elements in exhibiting any kind of skill/habit. For example you decide to meditate and eat healthy so you can fight off your anxiety. But you only do it when you feel like it. That mindset is never going to work out for you. Practising those healthy habits on a daily basis can help become a part of your daily routine.
Patience is like pillars to a high roof. Without patience your will to practise will wear off. Being impatient with ourselves will only relinquish our efforts for a better result. Just like the saying goes that patience is a virtue, we must learn to be steadfast and forgiving with ourselves. As a result we become more motivated to achieve our goals.
It is a currently unrealised ability. According to Latrece Williams, “powerful people recognise potential in people and people with potential know when they see it.”
I heard this really cool way of putting it from a video on YouTube, that requires you to imagine yourself on your deathbed. Standing around your bed are the ghosts of the ideas, the dreams, the abilities, the talent given to you by life, looking at you with angry eyes, saying we came to you and only you could’ve given us life but you ignored us.
How to achieve your potential?
1. Thrive for the best in everything
Stop settling for average. Strive for the best. If after your hard work you still don’t get the best then be thankful and move on to the next. Don’t lose hope for achieving the best. Figure out different ways to do things. That way you get to know yourself better and figure out your best qualities and undiscovered potential.
2. Do not be discouraged by how big your dreams are.
You have to say yes to your dreams, to your talents, to your potential. You have to give yourself endless chances. Do not be intimidated by failure.
3. Listen to your inner voice.
In most cases, people’s definition of success are often heavily influenced by family, friends and colleagues. So, to achieve our highest potential, we need to listen to our inner voice. This makes us discover our goals, wishes, ambitions. We will come across our desires or goals that seem easier to not tend to instead of giving it a chance.
4. Question your desires and abilities.
Ask yourself questions like what’s the purpose of your life or what’s the greatest thing I can and want to do.
5. Feel like you have more to offer but you don’t know.
When you feel like you have more to offer but you don’t know. So sit down and write down all your skills, desires, ambitions. After that correlate them to each other and see if all these assets can work together to give you a fruit. If not realise the needs and compare the values. Are these things that I wish to do worth my time and skills? If you are convinced that it’s for the best then strive to achieve them in your own way.
6. Confused in life.
If you are confused in life and you don’t know/want to be where you are, then take a little break to calm your mind. If things still seem bleak, then start doing what you want most at the moment. Wether it’s having a relaxing vacations or changing your job, it will give you an idea of what’s going on and this way you will recognise your unseen potential and have control over your life.
When I think of daydreams, I picture future situations most of the time. There are also times when I think past incidents, be it good or bad or a mix of both. I reimagine them in other ways or wish that I could continue on with the situation and most probably give it a different ending. A satisfying one. I think of them because I usually feel as if it’s incomplete, leaving a sort of an undescribeable feeling that nudges me in times when I feel lonely, sad or just with a void in my heart. Especially when I am dealing with something challenging.
I guess this is some type of a coping mechanism for me during bleak times, that I cling onto for emotional support. Sometimes I think of the things I have done in the past that I regret. When I get too emotional and overthink my worth and compare it to the horrible mistakes I have made, I daydream of having a plot twist and imagine a much better ending.
Even if this process of daydreaming leaves me with a few mental breakdowns, I can’t deny the fact that I learn valuable lessons that I may have not learned without going through the certain incidents.
So what’s good about daydreaming in my opinion is that even if I can’t change the horribly regretful past, I sincerely end up apologising for it. T o the most merciful, to myself and my loved ones.
This train of daydreaming then takes a turn towards the lighted end of the tunnel. I then think/daydream of those before me, who left a beautiful mark in history, had also made mistakes like mine or even worse and not just once but on multiple ocasions. But they didn’t let those mishaps define them. Instead pushed them towards something greater, showing them their undiscovered potential, all because they feel sorryand wish to redeem themselves.
So all that I wanted to say was that this act of “daydreaming” has done me more good than harm, compared to what some of my teachers and mentors said. Now I do not encourage you to spend most of your time to daydream but I also do not want you to stop doing it from time to time.
It causes us to feel incompetent and awkward. Which makes us overthink our own abilities to be able to carry out a certain task. Which eventually leads to delaying our work and becoming lazy.
2. Lack of positive recognition by others.
Having a positive environment to do our work in causes increase in our efficiency. But if it’s the opposite it causes us to lose self confidence and doubting our abilities thus, we become lazy to carry out our tasks.
3. Lack of discipline.
It stems from low self confidence and the urge to throw our problems aside rather than tackling them. Waiting for the right time to do things.
4. Lack of interest in the activity or belief in it’s efficacy.
This makes us refuse to carry on with our work due to low enthusiasm. At first we might push ourselves to carry on but as time passes by we tend to spend less time on the things we used to be interested in. This could be due to stress, depression, anxiety or any other negative feelings.
5. Decreased level of motivation.
It stems from over-stimulation, excessive impulses or distractions. It can also be due to a person’s depleting mental health such as depression and anxiety. There are times when we work ourselves so much that we forget to take breaks and it ends up decreasing our motivation towards our work. So make sure to balance work and relaxation to avoid having dullness in our work lives.
It is the reason of people focusing on the pleasant after effects of the hard work we are supposed to do. We end up day dreaming about the rewarding results that our brains tend to avoid doing the task which ends up to seem dull compared to its awards.
The guilt that lingers on our minds after we break a certain rule or cause anything disappointing leads us to adapting lazy habits. That is why we should never give up. No matter how terrible we have been and things seem to be going downhill, we should stand up again. And if it means starting from the start then go ahead and begin again. Just like they say every day is a new beginning. So don’t let the guilt from getting up and giving another attempt at it.
8. Crippling barriers.
Certain boundaries that keep us from moving forward can lead to laziness. If possible expand your boundaries. There might be such boundaries that you can’t cross so it doesn’t mean we should stop. Rather find a way around it. An alternative that will respect your boundaries and also help to move on with our work.
9. Avoiding changes and pain.
Most of the time we are too immersed in our comfort zone that when faced with challanging changes we tend to stay and refuse to accept them. Changes might take time to happen. But they aren’t unavoidable. It’s in your hands to benefit from it or let it break you.
Fear that becomes overwhelming leads to laziness and we keep falling victim to it if we don’t confront them. E.g: fear of not being able to complete our tasks of the day which makes us overthink the negative outcomes. Leading to us turning to our guilty pleasures for a distraction and abandoning our tasks. You might have experienced this and would know very well that this becomes a non-stop circle of falling victim to your fears which ends up becoming a habit. So it’s best if we gain our courage and overcome our fears instead of letting them control us.
I hope this helps you figure out the root cause of your laziness and you will be able to overcome it soon.
Aesthetic means pleasant or an artful appearance of something. Finding your personal aesthetic is to look for a particular taste that is pleasing to your senses. So let’s figure out our personal aesthete in 3 easy steps.
1. Figure yourself out.
Find out/list out things you like and dislike, things you love about yourself and list out random things you like.
2. Find and gather inspiration.
You can do this easily on Pinterest and Tumblr. Make moodboards to stay organised so it’s easy to navigate through the different categories of your interest.
3. Keep up with the trends.
Last but not least, keep up with the world. Don’t stay under the rock. As time changes, so does the trends and our taste. We have to accept the changes and move on with time. If you choose to stay under the rock and not know what’s going on around you, you’ll lose your sense of aesthetic because looking at the same things over and over get boring as time goes by. Which means you’ll be lost and have to start all over again. Not to mention the hard work you will have to put to keep up with the world.
I hope this was helpful. Let me know your thoughts in the comments. Xoxo
Let’s say things are not really going well and it’s starting to have an effect on our personality. We start to give off unpleasant vibes. So here’s how to fix it in 10 simple steps. Hope you find it helpful. ☺️
1. Go out in nature.
Set everything aside and go out. Relax in surroundings with more greenery. It will relax your brain. Or do gardening if you are a fan. It’s the best way to reconnect with nature. Go for a stroll at a park if your mood is off.
2. Exercise and meditate.
Exercise gets us moving. It can improve our muscle strength and can help deliver more oxygen to our brain. The relaxing effect from meditation helps improve heart rate, breathing, lowers blood pressure and much more. All of this can have a calming effect on our brain improving our mood.
3. Get advice from someone you trust.
If you are facing any problems do not go around telling different people about it. Some responses might have a negative effect on your mood causing you to be distressed. Get proper advice from trustworthy people who will want the best for you.
4. Practice gratitude.
Being thankful for the blessings we have makes us feel good. When expressing gratitude our brain releases dopamine and serotonin, neurotransmitters that are responsible for our emotions. They enhance our mood making us feel good.
5. Do someone a favour.
Doing good in general has a good effect on a person’s mood. It makes us want to do this more which makes us think positively about ourselves resulting in satisfaction and excitement.
6. Take a break from social media.
As we all know the social media has both good and bad things. Using social media more than average causes a drop in our good mood as we see both positive and negative things. All of that negativity gets to us when we are feeling down and it worsens a person’s mood. Eventually we start to practise the negative things and start to give off a negative vibe.
7. Tune out negative people.
Just as blocking negative people on social media we have to block out such people in our daily lives too. Only then can a person be happy and positive giving off a good vibe.
8. Try to accept your mistakes.
Being bold enough to accept our mistakes and apologising for it makes a person’s life easy and more positive. Thus causing us to stay in a positive environment, avoiding arguments and negativity which makes us feel good.
9. Avoid arguments.
Whenever there is conflict try your best to solve the problem in the calmest way possible. Try your best to avoid arguments as much as possible to preserve your peace of mind and not affect your vibe.
10. Do something that will give you an adrenaline rush.
Do activities like extreme sports if you can. Such things will give you an adrenaline rush which causes more blood flow to our brain. Resulting in enhancing our mood and having a positive effect on our body.
I hope this was helpful for you guys. Let me know in the comments if you liked it.
Swallowing one’s pride means to supress one’s ego in order to be humble. Sometimes it can be hard to do such so here are 3 simple ways to be more humble or swallow your pride.
It’s important to practise humility in daily life because it’s an act of humbleness without falling into the deep hole of self-deprication. Most importantly, it makes it easier to apologise and accept one’s mistakes.
2. Supplicate in time of need.
If you believe in God then, say your prayers regularly. Reach out to him with the belief that he will definitely reach back when you need hi. This way a person can remember that you are not perfect and that you do rely on someone. This is going to act as a reminder for us to not be arrogant.
3. Learn to let things go.
It’s best to be less stubborn when especially when things are messed up. It hwlps in accepting one’s faults easily. On the other hand, if it’s not your fault it makes it easier to move on and forgive someone for their mistakes.
That’s all from. Let me know your thoughts in the comments. If there is a particular topic you want to read then please let me know. have a nice day 🙂